Grow up.

I'd like to think that I have finally gotten to the point in my life where I don't get my kicks from being a mean girl. Don't get me wrong, I love the movie Mean Girls. ;) But it is about high school girls. Every once in a while I catch myself trash talking someone I don't like with someone else. I think everyone has those moments where they just need to vent. But when that is the only connection you have with someone..that you like to talk badly about people together or whine about anything you can think of...is that really a healthy relationship? Probably not.

I used to be a total mean girl. I was so insecure and disgusted with the way I was living my life that my only solace was to be mean to others and talk as much crap as I could. I surrounded myself with others who were feeling negative and wanted to join in the "fun." It took me a long time to realize that there is a huge difference between having your opinion and venting every once in awhile, and having your entire life revolve around purposely being a nasty bitch. I like to think that realizing that difference means I'm growing up. I had to make some changes in my life to get away from the negativity. I had to let some relationships go, not necessarily because of who those people were, but who I was around them. Some of my friends grew up with me, some didn't. So is life.

Unfortunately, not everyone gets past that stage. Some people live their entire lives being so negative that nobody is ever good enough for them. They can never see past the end of their own upturned nose to see how their actions and negativity effect others, or how their own poisonous attitudes are hurting them. They don't see the good in people, or the relationships that they are missing out on. Instead they laugh at those brave enough to bare their emotions--they talk badly about them, judge them. But really, they know that they are jealous that they don't have the guts to do the same.  Not everyone feels the need to wear their heart on their sleeve the way I do, and that's ok. This would be one crazy world if everyone were as emotional as I am. But to judge people for trying to care? For having human emotions? Really? It just seems so sad and cowardly.

The way I see it, it's just so exhausting to be miserable all the time. It takes a lot more effort to make someone else feel bad than to just be a decent person. It takes a lot more effort to say something in a nasty way. I know that misery loves company, because miserable people have to feed off of others to keep themselves going. But this girl aint gonna be that company noooo more. I'm no longer responding or reacting to that kind of behavior. I'm better than that. No more games. If you don't like me, it would be nice if you could just leave me alone rather than take the time to treat me like crap and make me feel like I don't belong. Don't make the effort to be nasty and hang around. There are some people who have had a hold on me for a long time, who I tried really hard to care about but they couldn't see past their own drama to give me a chance. I promised myself that this would be the year I would simplify. And that means shaking off all the excess baggage because I AM a good person and I deserve to shine a little.

When you actually start gaining some confidence in yourself as a person, you realize that the healthy relationships in your life flourish, and the negative relationships die off because they have nothing to feed off of anymore. Obviously not everyone falls into these two categories; some people are just busy! YOU are responsible for your own happiness first and foremost and you have to be willing to let go of the people who constantly keep you down. You can love them, and miss them, and hope they come around..but you have to look out for yourself and the people who depend on you.

Be kind. Be confident. Don't let others get you down!

<3 jill