17 day diet.

So I started the 17 Day Diet back in September, 2011. I had a lot of success with it right off the bat. The idea is that you teach yourself how to eat again, mostly teaching yourself how to be careful when it comes to carbs. The system is 4 cycles of 17 days each. In the first cycle, you eat absolutely no carbs, no sugar except for a few select fruits, and severely limit your fat intake. You can eat as many of the allowed veggies (most veggies are a go) and as much of the listed lean proteins as you like. You also need to have 2 pro biotic servings a day along with a glass of green tea at each meal. As you go through each cycle, you slowly add carbs and fattier meats back into your diet, but in smaller amounts. For example, cycle 2 alternates between cycle 1 days and days where you can have one serving of a natural carb. By cycle 4, you follow a healthy diet during the week, limiting carbs, sugars, and fats, but you can eat what you want on the weekends.

I got through cycle 1 without a problem. I was really proud of myself and lost around 10 lbs, which I am happy to say I have kept off since then! I lost another 3 or 4 lbs doing cycle 2 but I started to feel sluggish and sickly so I stopped following the diet strictly. The fact that I was able to keep off 10 lbs during the holidays was a miracle to me and really proved to me that this diet was on to something. The main thing that stuck with me even after following the diet for such a short time, was how many carbs I was actually consuming without even batting an eye. I am much more aware now of the carbs I take in and I think that really helped me keep a majority of the weight off.

I know that 10 lbs sounds like nothing to a lot of people, but it's a big deal for me. I've been struggling with my weight since I started college. I just have so very little self control when it comes to food, not to mention very low self esteem. Sometimes I binge eat almost to punish myself because I'm feeling so low. It's really bazaar. Anyways, today I started the 17 day diet again. Now that the holidays are gone, there are no more excuses. Plus, my lovely friend is getting married in late March and I'm a bridesmaid! I don't want to look all bloated and gross in her pictures, so I'm going to try and shed another 10 lbs before her big day. It definitely won't put me anywhere near my "ideal weight" but I will feel better about myself.

I'm not going to lie, a lot of this is about vanity. I used to really enjoy the attention I got for my looks, and relied on it way too much for way too long. I had a false sense of confidence and never spent time learning to love the me inside. So now that I feel that my good looks are a thing of the past, I don't have any confidence to rely on either. I'm working on it, but it's hard to undo years of self loathing, which I always had for one thing or another. I worry way too much about what other people think of me, when in reality, they probably aren't thinking of me at all. If you ask my Dad, the problem is that I think about me too much. lol.

Another part of this is that I do want to feel healthy again. When I'm feeling healthy I'm more awake, the dark circles under my eyes fade, my skin feels better, and I have more energy to spend on my daughter. I'll get there. Wish me luck.

<3 jill